Seeking Comfort

The world is a scary place. So many hard things.  So much to cope with.  

There are storms, fires, floods, hurricanes, tsunamis, tornados, car accidents, the random building collapsing, a stray bullet firing, a simple trip and fall, that can change or end lives.  Not to mention sicknesses of all kinds.

Then there is the simple fact of being human.  We make mistakes. We hurt others when we don’t mean to. We disagree, sometimes with a fervor that wounds.  We inadvertently trigger each other.  And there are many angry, frightened, selfish, misguided people who think they have the right to hurt others, and do.

Most of us carry wounds – memories, emotions, scars from the past.  We may feel trapped by traumas large or small.  We may live in fear of this pain happening again, or relive it in flashbacks or intense, confusing reactions.

We can so easily feel scared, sad, overwhelmed, annoyed, enraged, guilty, ashamed, helpless. 

How do we help ourselves live in a world full of fearful things? 

We learn comfort.  Perhaps we have come to this crazy, volatile, painful, messy, unpredictable world to learn comfort.  So, so, so important to build comfort into our lives. 

How do we start?  With one thing, a tiny little bit of comfort.  One deep breath, one tiny thought of self-kindness. One person who support us.

We can seek and find a variety of tools – the ones that work for us, whether they work for anyone else or not.  Talking, silence, music, dance, breathing, books, writing, moving, movies, art, therapy, work, play, deep diving into ourselves.  We can find thoughts, feelings, animals, people, beliefs, activities, philosophies that bring comfort, and root out the ones that do not – examine them, explore them, listen to them, gather their wisdom, eventually thank them for their gift. 

We can find the things that are hurting us and learn to release, relieve, integrate.   We can learn to avoid things that cause us harm.  We can accept that pain may arise on the way to comfort.  We can learn to hold on, get help, move through, get to a better place.  And we can grab hold, even if just for a moment, of whatever beauty, sweetness, fun, excitement, enjoyment may happen by.

We can learn to believe that we are worthy of comfort, that finding comfort is a worthy lifelong quest.  We can make it our constant goal.  We can remember to first put on our own oxygen mask, to first comfort ourselves.  We can know for a fact that this brings comfort to others, adds to the love and peace of the world.

We can keep looking for new comfort, tune our radar for it.  Comfort will begin to show up.  Bit by bit, it can fill our life.